Group 3 conference narratives

At our conference meeting, we discussed how we could each improve our writing skills by reading two segments, each, and giving feedback. This group discussion was very helpful to all of us. Our main focal points were the structure, flow, and content of our segments, and how they displayed the relationships we have with the artifacts we chose.

As our group sat around the table, Jessica was the first to read her segments aloud. She told a personable story of her connection to the song “I Don't Wanna Miss Thing “ by Aerosmith. Her description of the memories she had with her Dad were so endearing and well-written. The detail she wrote with illustrated exactly why she chose the song. After reading it, it was agreed that it was critique-free. Her second segment was centered around the award-winning essay she wrote in third grade. The praise she received from ten page mystery narrative sparked her initial interest in writing. The group noted that the structure could be rearranged and she should add why she was motivated. (Aubrey)

Next, Michaela wrote about a letter that an elderly couple gave her as she went off to college. Her segment was very touching, explaining how a simple act of kindness has affected her life so greatly. I loved her voice and description, as it painted a beautiful picture in my mind. Some tips we gave her were to expand on the card they gave her; what did it say? How did specific words impact you? Overall, it was a great segment. Her next entry was about an article written for her late aunt. We critiqued her on the structure of the segment, as it was a little hard to follow. We suggested that she center the artifact rather than her familial ties. I was interested in how her aunt got the award that the article was written about, and believe that including that will add depth and a greater understanding for the reader. (Jess)

Then, Austin read two of his segments when we meet on Tuesday morning. The first segment was about a song; “Amber". Austin wrote about what the song made him feel, and that, that was the song that made him like Reggae music. Some of the tips our group as well as Joe, was to many include what he gaining from listening to the song, and try to highlight the very specific moment he heard lush song; like what he was doing or maybe where he heard it. The second segment Austin wrote was about a book he read in tenth grade; the book was titled “Things Fall Apart”. Most of the students in his class did not like the book, but he really enjoyed it. The segment was well written, filled with personal experience and his love towards the book. Our group informed Austin that he should add in what part of the book drew him into the book, to be specific. Also to add some detail behind the book; like what the book was about. (Michaela)

Last but not least Aubrey discussed two of her own segments. First was her reminiscing on an old song ‘Aubrey’ by the band Bread. Aubrey explained to us in detail that not only was she named after the song, but that the song meant a lot to her and her family. Her next segment, highlighting the popular book series ‘A series of unfortunate events’ by Lemony Snicket went further into depth about Aubrey’s transition from a small private elementary school, to a much larger public middle school. Both of Aubrey’s segments touched on the topic of emotional connection very well, and although we did critique some minor things here and there, her segments were well refined. (Austin)